Jan 19, 2009 John Gottman in Seattle, WA, has done extensive research on couples' relationships and has determined that there are four very destructive elements that can wreak havoc in a relationship. These he calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, in a Biblical reference. John Gottman conducted a study of couples in which he was able to predict which ones would eventually divorce with 93.6% accuracy. Since that time, Dr. Gottman has continued his research into which factors play the biggest role in leading a couple to divorce. The 6 Traits Dr. Gottman Looks for When Predicting Divorce.
Cultural contextand (1986) identified a specific that observers in ten different cultures, both Western and non-Western, agreed signaled contempt. In this study, citizens of West Sumatra, Indonesia, were given photos of American, Japanese, and Indonesian peoples. Their ability to classify some facial expressions as contempt versus the primary emotions of anger, disgust, happiness, sadness, fear, or surprise showed that across cultures, general contempt is universally understood (with level of agreement equating to 75%).
“An expression in which the corner of the lip is tightened and raised slightly on one side of the face (or much more strongly on one side than the other) signaled contempt.” This study showed that contempt, as well as the outward expression of contempt, can be pointed out across Western and Non-Western peoples when contrasted with other primary emotions.
Unexposed to mass media or modern Western cultural influences, the Fore made ideal research subjects. Ekman hoped that studying these tribes would prove his hypothesis – that all humans share a universal set of basic emotions.Sure enough, in 1972, Ekman published what later became a seminal piece of research. The isolated Fore tribes used as every other Western and non-Western culture that Ekman and his colleagues had studied. Ekman called these.Ekman’s identified these six universal facial expressions as fear, anger, surprise, happiness, sadness and disgust. But in 1986, Ekman’s research uncovered a seventh contender. Contempt is related to anger and disgust, it’s a negative emotion, but crucially, contempt incorporates an element of superiority.,“Contempt is a judgement against another person of the most severe nature;it finds him worse than offensive, rather vile or repulsive. andconstitutes the other as decidely inferior, if not as some subhuman creature unworthy of human consideration” Studying emotions in the ‘Love Lab’At around the same time Ekman was studying facial expressions, Dr John Gottman, a mathematician turned psychologist was turning his attention to the ‘micro-behaviours’ of romantic couples.In the 1980’s and 90’s Gottman, (now a ) spent thousands of hours videotaping ordinary couples in a unique laboratory, nicknamed the Love Lab.After analysing the interactions of more than 3000 couples, Gottman made an astounding claim.
He believed whether a couple would get divorced just by looking at an hour of video tape.Gottman later devised his concept of the Four Horsemen – the that are mostly likely to lead to the breakdown of a relationship. These are:. defensiveness. stonewalling (the silent treatment),. criticism and. contemptContempt: the most dangerous emotionAccording to Gottman, contempt is by far the most dangerous.
In four decades of research, he has found it to be.Interviewed in, Gottman says,“You would think that criticism would be the worst.But if I speak from a superior plane, that’s far more damaging, and contempt is any statement made from a higher level. A lot of the time it’s an insult: ‘You are a bitch.
John Gottman Expression Of Disdain Letter
You’re scum.’ It’s trying to put that person on a lower plane than you. It’s hierarchical.” How to tackle contempt in a relationshipContempt might sound like the death knell of a relationship but it’s not all bad news.